It has been a while since I wrote last & goodness what a whirl wind. We made the mini trip to Tennessee for the wedding & it was beautiful but cold. The temp dropped that weekend & my father & I sat in wind including some mist from a pond fountain outside wedding. My aunts sister started bringing blankets from the house for the quests to use no joke! From there we came back to normal life with some added church drama. My father-n-law is the Pastor of our church & when there are problems it affects all of us. So, after some meetings, an evangelist friend & his wife coming in to preach our services for two weeks, & loosing some church family members (because they are like family), it was finally time to have my daughters birthday party with the grandparents. She decided that she wanted a hello kitty themed birthday. We had hello kitty plates, napkins, & yes cupcakes. They turned out cute & everything went relatively smooth. She had a good time and that is all that matters!
Also, we recently found out that our church organist will not be returning to play the organ. Due to her health she is retiring from her duties. She will be missed playing the organ she did such a fantastic job. Now it is time to step it up. I took piano lessons for at least seven years & I am no Sebastian Bach that is for sure. I am a basic player at best. I can play intermediate arranged music & any more difficult than that is going to take some time. I also was never taught how to chord so in church I have never played the piano because I don't know how to play a chorded accompaniment. I have been trying for a while to teach myself but you know how that goes with a husband & two kids. Very slow!!! So, guess what I did? Before I even found out that our organist was retiring I offered to help in anyway that I could to fill in. Now I am scrambling to learn some music for offeritories, congregational music, soon to be added choir specials, & then the dreaded Christmas music. Yes I said Christmas music & I'll be lucky that in six months that I might be ready to play.
This is where the overwhelmed feeling is coming from & the need to organize. Because I need to organize my time very wisely. I need to be doing a lot of praying. My kids are so important to me & lately I feel like I am letting everyday life get in the way of spending quality time with them. The kitchen needs cleaned, bathrooms, my room, their rooms, everything needs vacuumed, the unending task of laundry, I need to exercise because I need to loose weight, & I feel like they are getting left out & it is making me miserable. On top of this my son starts kindergarten this year & we are homeschooling. I feel as if I have made a wrong decision about volunteering with the music because right now I don't know if I can handle the tasks at hand. I want to be able to do everything & be good at it all. I want to give the kids the quality time that they need, do well with my sons schooling, be that good housekeeper, wife, daughter, daughter-n-law, organist, & still have time to do things that I enjoy. Things like sewing my daughter new culottes & dresses, scrap booking, shopping, reading, going to the park, & anything else I might like. In the end I feel like I am going to drive myself crazy & for this feeling I have the ultimate feeling of selfishness.
I may not be posting again for a while due to the lack of time but pray for me & wish me luck to accomplish what the Lord sees fit for me in my present state & that where I am lacking he will strengthen & supply. I pray that He will show me all that I need to do & provide the means to be able to accomplish it. I also pray that I will have the humbleness to see that He knows whats best & will provide in every situation. Without Him I can do nothing. He is my strength, my refuge, & my salvation!
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